Le Petite Corporal was a pretty major dude of his time. For one thing, he spoke French, which in my books is a dead certain way to be awesome. He was also fond of muskets, bicornes and naval battles.
'Drop that fridge and you're fucked, mate.'
Oh, and he got exiled. Twice.
The first time he got kicked off the mainland for being a bit of a tactical genius, he arrived on the little tiny island of Elba, which had anywhere up to 100,000 inhabitants. In a few months, this dude rocks up, builds an army and navy for the island, spruces up its iron mines, and completely re-invigorates their agricultural sector. Not bad at all in the alpha male stakes.
After a little incident involving running Paris for 100 days (plug! zing!), a run in with the Duke of Wellington and subsequent meeting with known socialite Exile II of St Helena, Monsieur Bonaparte chanced upon another encounter with the God of Awesome.
The first time he got kicked off the mainland for being a bit of a tactical genius, he arrived on the little tiny island of Elba, which had anywhere up to 100,000 inhabitants. In a few months, this dude rocks up, builds an army and navy for the island, spruces up its iron mines, and completely re-invigorates their agricultural sector. Not bad at all in the alpha male stakes.
After a little incident involving running Paris for 100 days (plug! zing!), a run in with the Duke of Wellington and subsequent meeting with known socialite Exile II of St Helena, Monsieur Bonaparte chanced upon another encounter with the God of Awesome.
Napoleon Bonaparte and his trusted steed, Bruce the Shark.
Halfway across the Atlantic, Bonnie realised he'd left his hat behind.
Bonnie was going to escape. And he was going to do so by cunning use of a submarine.
He had friends in high places within the remnants of the Grande Armee in the USA (well, what would become the USA in a few orbital cycles), and as conspiracy theories go, secret orders came from TEXAS (Cowboy land) to rescue the Emperor from his rock in the Atlantic and bring him to America. With the army, they'd establish a new Napoleonic Order in Cowboy Land.
At roughly the same time, some dude who rated himself the Che Guevara type, also harboured plans to sneak Napoleon into South America, and form a new empire in the continent with Bonaparte.
He had friends in high places within the remnants of the Grande Armee in the USA (well, what would become the USA in a few orbital cycles), and as conspiracy theories go, secret orders came from TEXAS (Cowboy land) to rescue the Emperor from his rock in the Atlantic and bring him to America. With the army, they'd establish a new Napoleonic Order in Cowboy Land.
At roughly the same time, some dude who rated himself the Che Guevara type, also harboured plans to sneak Napoleon into South America, and form a new empire in the continent with Bonaparte.
(All refered to by Wikipedia, so it has to be true)
So essentially, you have a Frenchman with a penchant for sneaking booze onto the battlefield, a cool hat, the whole of Europe in the palm of his hand, TWO naughty corners in the form of island hideouts...
...and a choice between teaching cowboys French or starting up a JUNGLE EMPIRE.
That sort of awesome should come with a PG-rating.
So essentially, you have a Frenchman with a penchant for sneaking booze onto the battlefield, a cool hat, the whole of Europe in the palm of his hand, TWO naughty corners in the form of island hideouts...
...and a choice between teaching cowboys French or starting up a JUNGLE EMPIRE.
That sort of awesome should come with a PG-rating.
RSS Feed
